Recently I’ve been wondering why no young professionals have been advocating for mandatory chiropractic coverage in the universal health care debates. While common wisdom would cause one to think that our nation’s elderly would be most in need of chiropractic care, I beg to differ. As any YoPro knows, as a species, we carry our lives with us. Once we’re up, we don’t stop going until 8pm at the earliest and we need a survival kit to tackle the day’s adventures. This survival kit is damn heavy, and our shoulders and backs are paying for it dearly.
We carry these gigantic backpacks and messenger bags like we’re hiking the Appalachian Trail for the next six months. It takes five minutes for us to find anything because we “know it’s in here somewhere” and another five minutes to assemble everything in it just to put the thing on. Once we have it on, it’s too much work for us to take it off, so we just pretend like you’re the one in the way getting on the subway or passing through the lunch line rush.
Because I am secretly mortified that I’m taking out small children, dogs, and tall buildings when I pass, I try to use Fridays to prepare to carry less stuff with me. This is especially necessary on Fridays, because once you’ve tried to squeeze your gigantic bag into a crowded happy hour, you suddenly realize the asinine amount of crap you carry with you. I once tried to meet up with friends on the Frying Pan—a floating dive bar that is literally a boat at Pier 66 in New York City’s West Village—and carried a backpack, laptop case, and purse with me through one square foot of available space among 200+ YoPros. I’m lucky I didn’t get tossed overboard.
Let’s analyze the typical arsenal of essentials I carry with me on a daily basis:
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- 1. Gigantic one shoulder carryall—this Mary Poppins carpet bag is where I put all of this crap. It’s cheap and from H&M, like the bags of 99% of other female YoPros, because we know we’re going to destroy it by putting in more things than belong in a bag this size. Always with me, occasionally accompanied by backpack, but I prefer to bear the burden with this so that I don’t look like I’m 12
- 2. Textbooks—If you’re not in grad school, substitute with books/Kindle/iPad for train reading
- 3. Binder, notebook, planner
- 4. Pens—I’m a pen hoarder. The relationship between this bag and pens is like that of the dryer and rogue socks
- 5. Miscellaneous—earrings, change, bobby pins. Millions of bobby pins
- 6. Flats—When my attempts at looking professional and put together fail after 2 hours.
- 7. Laptop + charger—My trusty sidekick. This thing goes with me everywhere. We were on such good terms until it stopped holding a charge and became super-heavy compared to my undergrad counterparts’ Macbook Pros
- 8. Headphones—Crucial accessory for trips to the gym, but even more necessary for drowning out obnoxious Starbucks patrons (ahem, girl next to me). Not to be worn on public transit unless you want your i-Whatever ripped out of your hands.
- 9. Winter hat—When additional attempts at looking professional and put together bend to New England weather
- 10. Cold meds + tissues—Tools for combating New England weather and promiscuous undergrads who swap spit/germs with everyone
- 11. To-do list
- 12. Sigg water bottle—Subtle status symbol, especially in Washington, D.C. Tells the world “I’m eco-friendly and I’m hydrated.”
- 13. Wallet—Someone told me I’m not allowed to use Velcro anymore, so I got one of these.
- 14. Glasses and contacts case
- 15. Umbrella—Again, Weather.com is no match for New England weather’s fickle nature
- 16. Business cards—My cards, combined with other people’s that I really should email back
- 17. Checkbook
- 18. Receipts
- 19. Smaller purse—This was an attempt to carry less “life” with me. Clearly that’s working
- 20. Keys—I have 2 keys and the rest are those dumb discount swipe cards to places I’ve been to once
- 21. Makeup, comb, brush, moisturizer—I’m a girl. This is how we roll
- 22. Tide-To-Go stain remover—Essential
- 23. Heels—Typically spend more time in the bag than on the feet, but I feel a responsibility to channel The Devil Wears Prada for at least an hour each day
- 24. Gym clothes + sneakers—For my treadmill jam sessions with Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey, aka that half marathon I keep saying I’m going to do but never actually register for
- 25. Not pictured: My lunch and/or dinner, which I typically pack
- 26. Not pictured: iPhone. At the mercy of this 3”x5” magic wand. Life self-destructs if this goes missing, damaged, or stolen
How does this compare with other people? And for the guys who only leave the house with their wallets—what is your secret?
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